Posts in Category: Season Seven

The StormHawk Revisited

Shun the Outsider, Loyal Policy.  Their un-businesslike conduct and unguided thoughts will only lead you astray.  Even if these Outsiders were once Loyal Policies of the HartLife Corporation- nothing can live outside of our Company’s warm embrace.   The Outside is dark, and full of wolves.

If you’d like to support HartLife NFP and Our Fair City, you can join the amazing community on our Patreon page at http://www.patreon.com/hartlifenfp.  A special thank you to Vrai Kaiser, one of our Manager level backers-read their excellent essays and analysis here!  By pledging monthly, you can ensure the growth and stability of our company and  get great rewards like Our Fair City ringtones, Herbert West on your voicemail, personalized HartLife policy certificates, and more.  You can also help spread the word by rating and reviewing on iTunes or whatever podcasting service you are listening to us on!

Content Warnings for this episode can be found here.

  • The Narrator— Ansel Burch
  • Hopper— Stephanie Murphy
  • Moose— Jeffrey Gardner
  • Doctor Herbert West— Ryan Schile
  • Doctor Montgomery Moro— Mark Soloff
  • Elizabeth Rourke— Tara Schile
  • Andrew Snidge— Frank Sjodin
  • Punted Rigger— DJ Catnip
  • Cumulus Jane— Kat Evans

Written by Jim McDoniel. Directed by Jeffrey Gardner. Sound Design by Ryan Schile. Music by Stephen Poon.  Episode art by Jess Cwik. Produced by Jeffrey Gardner. Recording Engineering by DJ Catnip. Production Management by Betsey Palmer. Created by Clayton Faits. A huge thank you to our sponsor for this episode, Cards Against Humanity!

The Executor

Everything and Everyone in HartLife has a proper place.  When Policies are forced outside of their proper location, all order breaks down.

Aren’t we lucky to have an upstanding and loyal Policy like Executor Teju Valentine to ensure our safety and security?  He will surely do whatever is necessary to make sure we are cared for.

Whatever is necessary.

If you’d like to support HartLife NFP and Our Fair City, you can join the amazing community on our Patreon page at http://www.patreon.com/hartlifenfp.  A special thank you to Charlie Hagadorn, one of our Manager level backers.  By pledging monthly, you can ensure the growth and stability of our company and  get great rewards like Our Fair City ringtones, Herbert West on your voicemail, personalized HartLife policy certificates, and more.  You can also help spread the word by rating and reviewing on iTunes or whatever podcasting service you are listening to us on!

Content Warnings for this episode can be found here.

  • The Narrator— Ansel Burch
  • Veronika Hasher— Ginneh Thomas
  • Teju Valentine— Jonah Winston
  • Old Man— Clayton Faits
  • Archibald FunnyPants— Mark Soloff
  • Clear Skies Tim— Tyler Samples
  • Greyson— David Rheinstrom
  • Seedy Borrower— Dan Granata
  • Old Lady— Ele Matelan
  • Tower Watch Officer— Sean Kelley
  • Switchblades Cobalt— Ele Matelan
  • Antimonious Strang— Dave Stecco

Written by Mark Soloff. Directed by Jeffrey Gardner. Sound Design by Ryan Schile. Music by Stephen Poon.  Episode art by Ryan Schile. Produced by Jeffrey Gardner. Recording Engineering by DJ Catnip. Production Management by Betsey Palmer. Created by Clayton Faits. A huge thank you to our sponsor for this episode, Videoball!

Orders are Orders

Loyal Policies- we all have our place in HartLife.  The Directors guide us, fulfilling their immortal will as our Founders and Protectors.  StreetSafe observes us at all times, making sure we are true in action to what resides in all of our hearts.  The Actuaries prognosticate, prophesying the continued success of the Company as its will resounds through the ages.

It is a M.O.L.E.’s job to serve, to follow orders, and to obey.  Nothing else.  Listen with horror as one M.O.L.E. violates this sacred dictum, with terrifying results.

If you’d like to support HartLife NFP and Our Fair City, you can join the amazing community on our Patreon page at http://www.patreon.com/hartlifenfp.  By pledging monthly, you can ensure the growth and stability of our company and  get great rewards like Our Fair City ringtones, Herbert West on your voicemail, personalized HartLife policy certificates, and more.  You can also help spread the word by rating and reviewing on iTunes or whatever podcasting service you are listening to us on!

Content Warnings for this episode can be found here.

  • The Narrator— Ansel Burch
  • Loamy— Kat Evans
  • Ash— David Rheinstrom
  • Ferrous— Jeffrey Gardner
  • The Orphan Silty— Sebastian H. Orr
  • Peat— Jared Latore

Written by David Rheinstrom. Directed by Jeffrey Gardner. Sound Design by Ryan Schile. Music by Stephen Poon.  Episode art by Kat Janda. Produced by Jeffrey Gardner. Recording Engineering by DJ Catnip. Production Management by Betsey Palmer. Created by Clayton Faits. A huge thank you to our sponsor for this episode, Cards Against Humanity!

Family Road Trip

Loyal Policies- there is no chance for a fulfilling life outside of HartLife.  Whatever you may hear in these recordings today- know that all Outsiders, whatever security or peace they may appear to have created for themselves, will die cold, lonely deaths in the frozen wastes outside our walls.  The Outside is dark, and full of wolves.  The Outside is dark, and full of wolves.  The Outside is dark, and full of wolves.

Listen, and remember.

If you’d like to support HartLife NFP and Our Fair City, you can join the amazing community on our Patreon page at http://www.patreon.com/hartlifenfp.  By pledging monthly, you can ensure the growth and stability of our company and  get great rewards like Our Fair City ringtones, Herbert West on your voicemail, personalized HartLife policy certificates, and more.  You can also help spread the word by rating and reviewing on iTunes or whatever podcasting service you are listening to us on!

Content Warnings for this episode can be found here.

  • The Narrator— Ansel Burch
  • Andrew Snidge— Frank Sjodin
  • Elizabeth Rourke— Tara Schile
  • Doctor Montgomery Moro— Mark Soloff
  • Doctor Herbert West— Ryan Schile
  • Doctor Emily Caligari— Marsha Harman
  • Cromwell— Jeffrey Gardner
  • Archibald FunnyPants— Mark Soloff
  • Mr. J— Jeffrey Gardner
  • Harlan— Catherine Dvorak
  • Steele— Kim Fukawa
  • Hopper— Stephanie Murphy
  • Moose— Jeffrey Gardner

Written by David Rheinstrom. Directed by Jeffrey Gardner. Sound Design by Ryan Schile. Music by Stephen Poon.  Episode art by Greg Browe. Produced by Jeffrey Gardner. Recording Engineering by DJ Catnip. Production Management by Betsey Palmer. Created by Clayton Faits. A huge thank you to our sponsor for this episode, Cards Against Humanity!

A Morning without Muffins and Matcha

Loyal Policies- the True Histories have focused mostly on the lives of the Tunnel Dwellers, or those who have dealings with them.  Today, we introduce you to one of the residents of the Tower Above- Veronika Hasher, Deputy Interior Designer.  Marvel at her deft understanding of fashion, aesthetics, and flow as she navigates the foreign and often frightening culture of the Refugee Camp for the Tunnel dwellers.  Will she return to her natural position higher in the Tower, or is she doomed to live for the rest of her life with her social inferiors?  Find out as the story of Our Fair City…continues.

If you’d like to support HartLife NFP and Our Fair City, you can join the amazing community on our Patreon page at http://www.patreon.com/hartlifenfp.  By pledging monthly, you can ensure the growth and stability of our company and  get great rewards like Our Fair City ringtones, Herbert West on your voicemail, personalized HartLife policy certificates, and more.  You can also help spread the word by rating and reviewing on iTunes or whatever podcasting service you are listening to us on!

Content Warnings for this episode can be found here.

  • The Narrator— Ansel Burch
  • Veronika Hasher— Ginneh Thomas
  • The Freelancer— Dan Granata
  • TowerWatch Officer— Sean Kelley
  • Old Man— Clayton Faits
  • Grayson— David Rheinstrom
  • Clear Skies Tim— Tyler Samples
  • Switchblades Cobalt— Ele Matelan
  • Antimonious Strang— Dave Stecco

Written by Stephanie Spence. Directed by Jeffrey Gardner. Sound Design by Ryan Schile. Music by Stephen Poon.  Episode art by Kat Janda. Produced by Jeffrey Gardner. Recording Engineering by DJ Catnip. Production Management by Betsey Palmer. Created by Clayton Faits. A huge thank you to our sponsor for this episode, Iron Galaxy!

Dread Secrets and Fearful Engines

Do you love the Directors, Loyal Policy?  Of course you do.  Bask in their presence.  Rest assured that they have steered the course of humanity long before your policy recruitment, and will continue long after your policy expires.  Your loyalty will be rewarded.

If you’d like to support HartLife NFP and Our Fair City, you can join the amazing community on our Patreon page at http://www.patreon.com/hartlifenfp.  By pledging monthly, you can ensure the growth and stability of our company and  get great rewards like Our Fair City ringtones, Herbert West on your voicemail, personalized HartLife policy certificates, and more.  You can also help spread the word by rating and reviewing on iTunes or whatever podcasting service you are listening to us on!

Content Warnings for this episode can be found here.

  • The Narrator— Ansel Burch
  • Doctor Emily Caligari— Marsha Harman
  • Cromwell— Jeffrey Gardner
  • Director Harrison— Cecil Baldwin
  • Director Sophia— Saren Nofs Snyder
  • Director Williams— Matt Young
  • The Voice of HartLife— Jeffrey Gardner

Written by Mark Soloff. Directed by Jeffrey Gardner. Sound Design by Ryan Schile. Music by Stephen Poon.  Episode art by Jacob Halton. Produced by Jeffrey Gardner. Recording Engineering by DJ Catnip. Production Management by Betsey Palmer. Created by Clayton Faits. A huge thank you to our sponsor for this episode, Cards Against Humanity!

Monsters and Memories

Loyal Policies- the truth can be a hard algae-pill to swallow.  No matter how you may feel about the villainous, disloyal Policies confined to the Cube, do not be swayed.  Their re-education is just.  Their treatments are mandated.  Their care is rationally considered and metered  to restore them to peak functionality and efficiency.  They have forgotten their place within HartLife.  Do not forget your

If you’d like to support HartLife NFP and Our Fair City, you can join the amazing community on our Patreon page at http://www.patreon.com/hartlifenfp.  By pledging monthly, you can ensure the growth and stability of our company and  get great rewards like Our Fair City ringtones, Herbert West on your voicemail, personalized HartLife policy certificates, and more.  You can also help spread the word by rating and reviewing on iTunes or whatever podcasting service you are listening to us on!

Content Warnings for this episode can be found here.

  • The Narrator— Ansel Burch
  • Director Charles Gari— Johnard Washington
  • Doctor Montgomery Moro— Mark Soloff
  • MolePerson— Nate Whelden
  • Elizabeth Snidge— Tara Schile
  • Seth— Hank Hewitt
  • Andrew Snidge- Frank Sjodin
  • Guard— Rose Sengenberger
  • Doctor Herbert West— Ryan Schile
  • The Voice of HartLife— Jeffrey Gardner

Written by Mark Soloff. Directed by Jeffrey Gardner. Sound Design by Ryan Schile. Music by Stephen Poon.  Episode art by Ali Cantarella.  Special thanks to Josh Zagoren. Produced by Jeffrey Gardner. Recording Engineering by DJ Catnip. Production Management by Betsey Palmer. Created by Clayton Faits. A huge thank you to our sponsor for this episode, Cards Against Humanity!

A MolePup Misadventure

Join us as we dive below the Tower, back into the water-soaked warrens of the Tunnels.  While the waters have partially receded, great damage has been done to the property of HartLife.  Who will repair the domiciles and thoroughfares of the City? None other than…the MolePeople.

If you’d like to support HartLife NFP and Our Fair City, you can join the amazing community on our Patreon page at http://www.patreon.com/hartlifenfp.  By pledging monthly, you can ensure the growth and stability of our company and  get great rewards like Our Fair City ringtones, Herbert West on your voicemail, personalized HartLife policy certificates, and more.  You can also help spread the word by rating and reviewing on iTunes or whatever podcasting service you are listening to us on!

Content Warnings for this episode can be found here.

  • The Narrator— Ansel Burch
  • Ferrous— Jeffrey Gardner
  • Ash— David Rheinstrom
  • Loamy- Kat Evans
  • Clay— Clint Worthington
  • Sandy— Abby Doud
  • The Orphan Silty— Sebastian H. Orr
  • Shale— Jeffrey Gardner
  • Schist— Lauren Shippen
  • Talc— Jim McDoniel

Written by Jim McDoniel. Directed by Jeffrey Gardner. Sound Design by Ryan Schile. Music by Stephen Poon.  Episode art by Dan Streeting.  Produced by Jeffrey Gardner. Recording Engineering by DJ Catnip. Production Management by Betsey Palmer. Created by Clayton Faits. A huge thank you to our sponsor for this episode, Field Notes!

The Cube

Loyal Policies: we return now to the Tower, now crowded with the refugees of the Flood, allowed into the sacred halls of the Upper Management by the actions of the Traitor, Cassandra Wilkins.  How will HartLife prevail against this grievous misappropriation of  company resources and real estate?  Meanwhile, we travel for the first time to the depths of the Cube, HartLife’s treatment and rehabilittaion center for it’s very worst criminals and dissidents.

Welcome back..to Our Fair City.

If you’d like to support HartLife NFP and Our Fair City, you can join the amazing community on our Patreon page at http://www.patreon.com/hartlifenfp.  By pledging monthly, you can ensure the growth and stability of our company and  get great rewards like Our Fair City ringtones, Herbert West on your voicemail, personalized HartLife policy certificates, and more.  You can also help spread the word by rating and reviewing on iTunes or whatever podcasting service you are listening to us on!

Content Warnings for this episode can be found here.

  • The Narrator— Ansel Burch
  • Clear Skies Tim— Tyler Samples
  • Greyson— David Rheinstrom
  • Archibald FunnyPants- Mark Soloff
  • Old Man— Clayton Faits
  • Executor Teju Valentine— Jonah D. Winston
  • Andrew Snidge— Frank Sjodin
  • Benedict— Mark Soloff
  • Doctor— Johnard Washington
  • Guard— Nate Whelden
  • PrisonerRose Sengenberger
  • The Voice of HartLife— Jeffrey Gardner
  • West’s Guard— Rose Sengenberger
  • Dr. Herbert West— Ryan Schile

Written by Mark Soloff. Directed by Jeffrey Gardner. Sound Design by Ryan Schile. Music by Stephen Poon.  Episode art by Robin Billadeu.  Produced by Jeffrey Gardner. Recording Engineering by DJ Catnip. Production Management by Betsey Palmer. Created by Clayton Faits. A huge thank you to our sponsor for this episode, Cards Against Humanity!