Now Playing

Season Seven / Episode 6 - Family Road Trip

Loyal Policies- there is no chance for a fulfilling life outside of HartLife.  Whatever you may hear in these recordings today- know that all Outsiders, whatever security or peace they may appear to have created for themselves, will die cold, lonely deaths in the frozen wastes outside our walls.  The Outside is dark, and full of wolves.  The Outside is dark, and full of wolves.  The Outside is dark, and full of wolves.

Listen, and remember.

If you’d like to support HartLife NFP and Our Fair City, you can join the amazing community on our Patreon page at  By pledging monthly, you can ensure the growth and stability of our company and  get great rewards like Our Fair City ringtones, Herbert West on your voicemail, personalized HartLife policy certificates, and more.  You can also help spread the word by rating and reviewing on iTunes or whatever podcasting service you are listening to us on!

Content Warnings for this episode can be found here.

  • The Narrator— Ansel Burch
  • Andrew Snidge— Frank Sjodin
  • Elizabeth Rourke— Tara Schile
  • Doctor Montgomery Moro— Mark Soloff
  • Doctor Herbert West— Ryan Schile
  • Doctor Emily Caligari— Marsha Harman
  • Cromwell— Jeffrey Gardner
  • Archibald FunnyPants— Mark Soloff
  • Mr. J— Jeffrey Gardner
  • Harlan— Catherine Dvorak
  • Steele— Kim Fukawa
  • Hopper— Stephanie Murphy
  • Moose— Jeffrey Gardner

Written by David Rheinstrom. Directed by Jeffrey Gardner. Sound Design by Ryan Schile. Music by Stephen Poon.  Episode art by Greg Browe. Produced by Jeffrey Gardner. Recording Engineering by DJ Catnip. Production Management by Betsey Palmer. Created by Clayton Faits. A huge thank you to our sponsor for this episode, Cards Against Humanity!