Molepeople Drinks by Frank Sjodin

Once again, ladies and gentlemoles, we highly recommend that you not attempt to prepare these at home without the supervision of a trained MoleFeeder.


1 day ration of hot coffee (1 mugful, ~1 cup)

¼ day’s ration of HartLife powdered dairy supplement

1 ounce dark bitter chocolate, claw-chopped

crushed ant sprinkles to taste

Easiest coffee drink to make, just mix the ingredients together and sprinkle some crushed ants on top. Works like coffee but tastes much better and includes valuable calcium and proteins as well, mmmmmmmmmmm!


Esspressmole (aka Mole Miner’s GetUpAndGo)

½ mug hot coffee

2 crushed HartLife A1 class stimulant pills

1 crushed HartLife SR “Labor Enhancer” pill

Pour the crushed pill powder into the coffee, mix together, and drink as fast as possible.

note – take only before performing strenuous physical labor such as marathon digging, heavy lifting, moving wrecked heavy machinery, swimming while carrying digging tools, or other equivalent tasks. Do not take before bed. Do not take if you are under 120 lbs, under the age of 3 years or over the age of 13 (congratulations, by the way!), pregnant, trying to become pregnant, have high identity variance or low stress tolerance ratings, or have a history of heart problems. HartLife guarantees that there are no health risks or adverse effects from this drink for a healthy adult mole as long as less than 3 are consumed per month!


Mole-asses Shaker

½ mug of HartGin

a squirt of worm juice

spoonful of molasses

mix all ingredients into any empty metal ration canister. Re-seal it, then attach it by magnet to an industrial jackhammer. Activate tool for 7-15 seconds, then remove canister (with hotpads), shake vigorously, and pour into a mug. Best if drank while still warm.


Simple secret, just pour a shot of HartGin (or more!) into your morning bucket of worm-juice, and stir it with a claw or your pick-ax handle. As long as you just have one, shift leaders rarely notice.

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